


Know the Song of My Heart, and Sing it Back

by lynndyre



Category: Star Ocean: The Last Hope
Genre: Aftercare, Dom aftercare, Dom/sub, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Polyamory, Post-Game(s), Primary Partners
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-30
Updated: 2011-12-30
Packaged: 2017-11-08 18:39:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/446274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lynndyre/pseuds/lynndyre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arumat helps Crowe come down from an uncomfortable scene with Faize.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Know the Song of My Heart, and Sing it Back

**Author's Note:**

> For the 'whipping and flogging' square on my hurt/comfort bingo card. In this case, the comfort is for the one who performed the whipping, rather than submitted to it. Postgame SO4, contains spoilers, inspired by some of cypher's postgame poly BDSM.  
> The quote from which the title is mangled is this: _A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.  
>  \- Bernard Meltzer_

Arumat sat in his and Crowe's shared quarters, reading by the glow of his handheld tablet. He had abandoned the files of Earth's history in favour of paging through its extinct animals. Some would have been worth battling.

He kept his posture relaxed, but his senses stayed on alert for Crowe's return.

When the doors slid open, Crowe sank down on his bunk slowly, still consciously keeping every bit of himself in check. His hands didn't want to steady, and his heart was still racing.

"It didn't go well."

Crowe started, but reigned himself in quickly. "No, it went perfectly well. Faize needed it, and I'm happy to be able to help Edge."

"But not by disciplining the lad." Arumat's expression was even, without censure.

Crowe squared his shoulders against the desire to slump forward. "It isn't my favourite kind of play, but I'm generally comfortable with it. I know exactly how much force to use, to cause cathartic pain without damage. But every muscle in me wanted to exceed it."

"You didn't."

"I should have. He killed my crew." Even his breath was unsteady now. "That little green _boy_ \-- We were frantic when we couldn't find him after the battle over Aeos. I was frantic. I thought he'd been shot down, but we couldn't track the Sol. Hwang spent hours on sensor sweeps. And Edge wants me to _help him forgive himself._ "

Crowe dug his hands into his hair, but his gloves gripped and slid unevenly, and the strands fell around his face again. "I don't think I'm the man Edge is talking to, when he looks at me. I'm not sure I ever was." 

"Sometimes the lad is too close to see other than the brother he expects to find beside him." Arumat set the pad aside and rose to stand beside Crowe. Finally Crowe lifted his head, and Arumat nodded towards the door. "Come. Fight me."

***

Their usual spars mimicked standard combat, with the weapons and armour they wore planetside. But as Crowe spun his blades upward to block the circling swipe of Arumat's scythe, his right arm expected the weight and balance of the lash instead of the heft of his energy blade. His block faltered, too early, and Arumat's scythe slid against his left-hand blade, pushing him backwards.

He couldn't hear the beat. The pulse of the fight, the music he moved to. He and Arumat were out of sync, and Crowe knew the fault was his. 

"Break," Crowe said. Arumat disengaged and stepped back. "You were right, I need this, but at this rate I'm going to hurt one of us. Let's switch to hand-to-hand."

Arumat eyed him, nodded, and deactivated his scythe, pulled off his reinforced gloves. Overheated and still tense, Crowe stripped out of the whole top half of his suit, leaving just his white regulation singlet.

"Okay?"

"Aye."

This time, when Crowe's block failed, Arumat's fist caught him across the side of the face, and the pain grounded him into a retaliatory spin kick that impacted Arumat's chest. Slowly, bruisingly, the music came back. Crowe's footwork stopped matching what was basic necessity to evade Arumat's attacks, and evolved into a ritual dance- advance and retreat paced out to the beat of secret drums.

Finally Arumat overextended himself, and Crowe caught his wrist and pivoted, twisting it up behind Arumat's body until even the modded joint burned with it. Crowe forced him to his knees, and Arumat sank down willingly, head tipping back against Crowe's hold in complete surrender. 

Crowe breathed hot against the fabric over Arumat's ear, patted his shoulder once and released the hold. "Thank you."

Arumat rose, bruised and loose and easy in his body. "You needed it. And I enjoyed it."

Crowe let Arumat stow their weapons, and himself collected the discarded clothing and armour. There was a perverse satisfaction in dumping everything he'd worn with Faize into the refresher.

"I shouldn't have agreed to the scene. But I didn't want to refuse Edge, and Faize needed... something. I didn't think it would be so--" With the tension in his muscles finally quieted, Crowe could feel his own thoughts more clearly, but his body had hit the tipping point towards exhaustion. When Arumat pushed them both into the shower stall, he yielded willingly.

Arumat worked shampoo into Crowe's hair, thorough fingers against his scalp. Crowe braced his hands on the wall and let him work. His voice was low, intense even through the water. "Faize's mental wellbeing is not more important than your own."

Crowe turned under the recycled spray, trailed his thumb over the line of lavender bruising just beginning to bloom across Arumat's right pectoral. "No. I've got reasons to stay sane."

When his lips closed on Arumat's earlobe, the Eldarian made a low noise, and his hands clamped down hard on the slippery skin of Crowe's hips. Crowe cupped the back of Arumat's neck, angled his head for better access. His tongue traced the inner whorls of Arumat's ear, every tiny, tasting flick met by Arumat's body molding itself closer to his own. He gave the pointed tip a lingering nibble, then drew back. Arumat growled, and rolled against him, body twisting to bare the other ear for his attentions. Crowe kissed it, kissed a path across Arumat's cheek to take his mouth. Arumat's tongue battled to draw his deeper inside.

Crowe breathed in the space of air between Arumat's hair and neck. "Thank you. For all of this." Crowe pushed his hair back from his face, felt the scar that ran along his scalp from Hwang's armour as the Aquila had disintegrated around them. "You... see me. I am the man you're talking to, when you look at me. I'm just sorry you've had to watch me become him."

Arumat met his eyes with uncomfortable honesty. "I am not."


End file.
